What We Do Now Matters
by DemacianSentry
Summary: Death can come for any one of us at any time. What matters is what we do while we are still alive. Mikasa and Sasha short story. Rated M.


**What We Do Now Matters**

_Abandoned Castle. Former Scout Regiment's Headquarters. _

"That will be all, until the day of the operation. Get some rest; we need to move out tomorrow if we are to make it there on time." Erwin said as he ended the meeting.

The group had just finished telling Eren that Annie Leonhart is the Female Titan. It was difficult news for him to bear.

When everyone had gone. Mikasa walked up to check on Eren, who was still seated. "You have to accept that it is her, Eren. If you don't, you won't be able to stop her."

Eren looked up into Mikasa's eyes to exclaim, "I…I know that. Now leave me alone!" His voice trembled as he waved his right arm out at Mikasa, swiping at only air and hanging his head it frustration.

Mikasa wanted to bring him some kind of comfort, but she knew Eren would just think he was being coddled so she decided to leave the room.

As Mikasa paced the halls of this old castle, heading to her quarters, she found herself thinking about how this was going to be a very risky operation. Not just the threat of danger for Armin, Eren, and herself, but that they could lose everything this time if they failed.

She got to the door of her room, expecting to hear Sasha, her roommate, eating inside. Sasha was a loud eater, and had a knack for not caring about how rude she is. Mikasa often found that entertaining about Sasha. Much to her dismay, Sasha wasn't eating her meal when Mikasa opened the door; she was hugging her knees against the wall on her bed. Both trays were still full on the table between their beds. Mikasa felt worry wash over her, but she kept it off her face as she said to her, "Are you actually waiting to eat until I showed up, Potato Girl?" Mikasa didn't normally use that nickname, but she was concerned that something was wrong with Sasha. And there was.

Sasha looked up to see Mikasa in the door way. "I…I…I'm not hungry."

Mikasa almost made an expression of horror on her face, but let it pass. "What? Why aren't **you**, of all people, hungry?"

Sasha kept looking into Mikasa's eyes, and Mikasa had just noticed that tears were pooled in the bottom eyelid of each of her eyes. "They told me I wasn't going to be a part of the operation, but you will. I might not see you again, right? If you fail, I won't see you or any of the rest of them again. Is that right?" Sasha got to her feet to face Mikasa, holding her hands up to show how she was feeling about everything that was about to happen.

Mikasa looked into Sasha's eyes as the two of them just stood there without a word between them. With a stoic expression and her eyes locked on Sasha's, Mikasa took a step forward. Sasha nervously took one back, she didn't know what Mikasa was doing, but it scared her. Mikasa looked so serious, like she was getting into a fight. Mikasa continued taking steps forward.

"What…what are you doing?" Sasha pleaded for a response as she backed away from Mikasa, step for step. "Mikasa stop! You're scaring me!" Sasha's back reached the wall between the table and her bed; it caught her off guard. "Ugh, Mikasa!" Mikasa continued walking forward with her stoic demeanor. "Mikasa, wait, I don't get it! What are you doing?! Talk to me please?!" When Mikasa was almost close enough to reach out and touch Sasha, Sasha lashed out at her with an intention to force her away. "Mikasa stop!" Sasha screamed as she closed her eyes to swipe the air between them. Mid-swipe, Mikasa caught Sasha's left arm by the wrist with her right. Mikasa continued moving forward. "Ugh! Let go! Mikasa, stop!" Sasha brought her right hand up to pry Mikasa's grip loose, but Mikasa gripped that wrist with her left hand as well.

Mikasa pinned both of Sasha's arms to the wall, got real close to her face and said, "Will you miss me if I die?"

Sasha was still panicking about what was happening, but found herself able to respond honestly. "Yes, I will miss you guys, if you die!"

Mikasa closed her eyes and shook her head. When she opened them she asked again, "Will you miss **me** if **I** die?"

Sasha stopped panicking to gaze into Mikasa's eyes. "Mikasa…you…"

Mikasa pressed her question once more, "Will you miss me if I die?"

Sasha couldn't remember how to breathe. She felt like her heart had fallen into her stomach. "Mikasa…I…I will." She finally breathed.

Mikasa closed her eyes and moved her head even closer to Sasha's, but this time her mouth was open.

Sasha realized what this was and her worries started to take precedence. "Mikasa stop this! I can't do this…I can't do this if you are just going to die!"

Mikasa's voice was a tragic whisper. "Don't make me pull away, not now."

Sasha closed her eyes and shook her head. "Mikasa don't do this to me. If you do this to me and then die in a few days…what will I be left with?!"

"This…just this. Please let me have this?" Mikasa whispered in desperation.

Sasha's breath was in quick and hot strokes. They were soothing for Mikasa, but they were filled with all of Sasha's angst. "You can't…you can't give me this, only to have it taken away! Mikasa…I couldn't take it! If we make this and then it is destroyed the day after tomorrow, what did we make it for?! Please don't do this to me! It would be so horrible!"

Mikasa still held her mouth out to Sasha as she opened her eyes slightly. Her voice was still a soft whisper. "It would be horrible to have lived my life, and never had this. Please don't make me pull away?!"

Sasha could feel it was true. She wanted something with Mikasa, something that death couldn't take away. But would it be enough? Would she be able to live a life without Mikasa, if she started one with her just today? "Mikasa, please, don't do this to me! Don't give me everything, if there's a chance I could lose it all so soon!"

Mikasa closed her eyes once more. "Just give me tonight Sasha, just let me have tonight. Think about if I live. Think about us. Think about the future. Think about tonight, for me, please?"

Sasha shook her head again, and this time tears poured out of Mikasa's eyes as she pulled away. Sasha couldn't stand to see them. She fought against everything in her that didn't want to experience the thought of having Mikasa and losing her so soon, and broke her arms free of Mikasa's, now relaxed, grip to grab Mikasa by the collar and bring their lips together. Mikasa didn't make a sound, she was too relieved; she brought her hand up to the sides of Sasha's head told hold her tight. The kiss was soft, softer than either of them expected. Sasha expected Mikasa to have tough, battle hardened, lips. While Mikasa expected, humorously enough, that Sasha's lips would taste like a cooked potato. However, they both found their assumptions to be wrong as all either of them could feel and taste was the unfamiliar skin and saliva they had individually.

Finally Mikasa started to pull away, but Sasha wouldn't let her. Sasha feared that after the kiss it would all be over. Mikasa moved Sasha to sit on her bed, while she stayed standing to try and pull away again. As their lips separated, Sasha cried out softly, "No…no don't-."

Mikasa put her right index finger on Sasha's lips, they were trembling from fear. "Its okay, I'm not leaving you just yet." Sasha gave a little grin. Mikasa grabbed Sasha's tray of food to take a seat next to her and set the tray on Sasha's lap. She picked up the spoon and scooped up some of the stew. Mikasa brought it up to blow on it and held it near Sasha's mouth. "Open up." Mikasa requested.

"Mikasa, you don't have to." Sasha exclaimed.

Mikasa replied, "Please let me?" Sasha opened her mouth and Mikasa brought the spoonful of stew into it. Sasha closed her mouth as Mikasa pulled out and started to chew. Mikasa grabbed another spoonful and blew on it as well before bringing it to Sasha's mouth.

Sasha looked at her with solemn joy. "Mikasa, why are you doing this?" She said as she took the next spoonful of stew in her mouth.

Mikasa grinned a little. "You remember that time I fed you my bread, after I told everyone you passed gas to cover for Eren and Jean?"

Sasha gulped the stew down. "Yeah, I remember, thanks again by the way."

Mikasa blew on the next spoonful and said, "I really enjoyed that. I wanted to do it again. I want to do it everyday. I want to see you smile when you eat. Every time I can. I…I want to make all your meals." She put the next bit of stew in Sasha's mouth. "And help you eat them. Can I?"

Sasha gulped this time without chewing. "Yes! Mikasa, you can do this anytime you want!"

The stew had become to shallow to scoop up anymore so Mikasa picked up the bread and tore a chunk up. She thumbed it into Sasha's mouth. Sasha closed her mouth too soon, on purpose, to clasp around Mikasa's thumb. Mikasa looked at her and said, "If you don't let go, I can't get you another piece." Sasha let Mikasa's thumb out and started to chew the bread, quickly. Mikasa tore another chunk to place it in Sasha's mouth, and Sasha again held onto Mikasa's thumb for a few seconds before chewing the chunk.

When the bread was gone, Mikasa exchanged the place of Sasha's tray with her own tray of food. Then she grabbed her spoon and brought her stew up to blow on it and offer it to Sasha. "Open up."

"Mikasa no, you don't-." Sasha was cut off when Mikasa pushed the spoonful into her mouth. Sasha swallowed and declared. "Mikasa, that's your meal! You eat it."

Mikasa shook her head. "No I want to feed it to you and see you eat it."

Sasha couldn't handle what was happening to her at this moment. Fiery impulses shot through her head and she acted on them, in force. She shot herself straight up, knocking the tray onto the ground. But before the tray had even touched the ground, she had grabbed Mikasa by the shoulders and driven her hard against the bed to lock her lips with Mikasa's.

Mikasa got her hands up to grip the back of Sasha's head, but felt resistance soon as Sasha got her hands on the back of Mikasa's collar to pull her jacket down from behind her. Mikasa soon found her wrists stuck in the ends on each sleeve, while Sasha whipped her left sleeve off only to have her own jacket remain on her right arm. Sasha drew her body in close over Mikasa to help her wrists get free. As soon as Mikasa could move her hands she gripped them onto Sasha's belt to wrestle the straps loose, as she pulled Sasha's shirt out of her pants. Sasha dug her fingers into the seam on Mikasa's shirt and tore the buttons out to open her chest up, before getting a grip on each breast. Mikasa got Sasha pants loose and her shirt up to feel how smooth her back was, as Sasha kneaded Mikasa's breasts in slow, powerful movements. Mikasa slipped into ecstasy as Sasha followed right behind her. Their lips never parted. Tomorrow didn't matter, tonight. All that mattered to them was what they did while they were still alive.


End file.
